How?
How do you bridge the gap? A Spring semester high school Senior and a high school Sophomore. Against the odds, we bridged critical phases. Him a Senior, me a Sophomore. Him a college Freshman, me a Junior in high school. Him a 2nd year college student, me a high school Senior. The experiences, especially of those in that senior/sophomore and freshman/junior timeframe, are vastly different. One making decisions about their next four years, the other still preparing for those decisions. One with a new found independence while the other wishes for it but isn’t quite ready.
How did we do it? Honestly, I have no idea. One could attribute it to our Christian faith at the time, but basically all my friends had similar beliefs but didn’t end up with their high school sweetheart. Emotional maturity? Yes, but there was still quite a lot for us to learn and definitely growing pains. Stubbornness? Maybe. Neither of us wanted to give up. Or was it neither of us wanted to actually try to date again? Love? It had to be. But not giggly sweet love, not hot and heavy love. Of course there was a lot of romance and physical attraction. It was a love that was deep and unwavering. A love that fed off of playfulness, quiet moments, moments of discomfort, moments of comfort, and a whole lot of honesty and communication.
The growing pains were painful. Why did we stick through it? Why did we decide to prioritize each other and be so committed? I truly don’t remember making that decision, so I can’t honestly give an answer. There is part of me that wants to say that neither of us wanted to have to go through a break up, but there is no way that is enough to keep teens or young adults together. And 29 years later there is not a single fiber of my being that feels stuck with him or that I missed out on other opportunities. No what ifs.
So here you go, a little train of thought of memories of that time:
A spring semester high school senior and high school sophomore. The world is his oyster. High school is her bubble. Trying to navigate two different phases of life while still in love and devoted. He graduates. She dreads the hardest year of high school to come. He is out on his own, setting his own rules. She has to be home by curfew. His mind savoring his freedom. Her mind fearing that she will be left behind.
Prom, parties, movies, dates, cuddling, soccer games, and romance.
Jealousy. Smothering. Insecurity. Countered with: Trust. Assurances. Vulnerability. Honesty. Communication.
Weekend nights on her parents’ couch. The infamous “weed-out” semester of Georgia Tech. The APs and college pressure for her. An ulcer for him. Panic attacks for her. Each other’s comfort and safe harbor.
Second semester, less pressure for him. More for her. Which schools? SATs. AP tests. An invitation to join a fraternity. A naive fear of Animal House. “Cradle-robber” taunts no match for his love. “Date around” prodding no match for her love.
College parties, movies, dates, cuddling, soccer games, and romance.
Second year college. Last year high school. He’s locked in to his path. Co-op 5 year plan. She’s figuring out hers. Which schools? Stay close. For him or for her? For her is him. For him is her. They will always be.
Fraternity semi-formals, formals, and parties. Dances, prom, nights out, soccer games. Romance. Curfew.
A college chosen. A college not of her choice. Three hours away. It fits the plan. It doesn’t fit her. A summer of tears, comfort, and encouragement. Four years of love. An agreement to stay together. A test of long distance.
To be continued…