Tomorrow should be an infusion day, however it has been delayed until I can produce more neutrophils. A lot of my bloodwork took a dive this round. The one they get most concerned about is neutrophils. Low neutrophils is called neutropenia. This means I am highly susceptible to any kind of illness and bc my body does not have the tools to fight illness, I could go septic very quickly. Sepsis is obviously not something to play with. My doctor has asked insurance to approve an injection that would help boost my neutrophils, so I’m waiting on that. My level is 0.1 when ideally it should be above 1.0 to continue treatment. So…yeah…I’m hoping for that injection. My hemoglobin took a plunge as well. I was sticking at 10.3 but dropped to 9.8. All the other red blood cell, white blood cell levels are out of whack as well, but those 2 are the most impactful on how I feel physically, which is fatigued. My platelets took a deep dive on my Friday bloodwork but by today they had recovered, so I’m kind of hoping I see a similar trend by this Friday with my neutrophils.

If there was a way to manifest neutrophils in my body, I’d be working on it. Alas, there is not. So I’m asking for your vibes, thoughts, and prayers that I do not get sick this week, and that my neutrophils increase abundantly.

I have very mixed feelings about this delay. On the one hand, I am happy to not be getting the smack down tomorrow. I am hopeful that maybe I’ll feel a bit better as the week goes on…maybe cold sensitivity will subside. Maybe I’ll get a little taste back. I mean those are fantasies, maybe possibilities but not probabilities. On the other hand, all of the studies are done at specific dosages and regimens to come up with treatment efficacy, so the idea of not sticking to the exact recommended regimen is a bit scary. However, I know that delay and potential dosage decrease at this stage in the game is somewhat common and should have little effect on overall efficacy. Also, I’d rather be dealing with low probability of efficacy change than the risk of sepsis. So as I said mixed feelings. Anxiety and overthinking peek their heads in, but I remind them that I am okay and we take this day by day.

I was considering fleeing to our desert home for the rest of the week to stay away from my germy kiddos, but I’m not sure I want to be away from my home hospital and cancer center in my current vulnerable state. We shall see. I definitely love being there and feeling that release and relief, but this may not be the week.

Onward I go.