Day 4 was rough. I have never been so fatigued. I could barely keep my eyes open for more than an hour at a time. The longest stretch I could stay awake was from about 5:00p.m.-7:00p.m. I didn’t have much of an appetite, but I managed to get in a few calories. I tried to stay on top of fluids, but I didn’t manage the recommended 2-3liters. Through the night I was asleep, but it was almost like a twilight sleep. I was having dreams about needing to get things done, but they were actual things on my checklist, not wacky dream things. I’ve also been having little jolts here and there in my sleep. You know the ones when you’re almost asleep, but then you kick your leg quickly? I’ve had those but with my arm, leg, and head at different times. It’s weird and a bit unsettling.

Day 5 has been better than Day 4. I’m still pretty foggy, but I’ve been able to be awake more today. I have a general tummy discomfort, but it’s not resulting in any bathroom needs, knock on wood. It seems like the cold sensitivity has subsided, but I’m still going to wait until tomorrow before I take the risk of drinking something cold. Other than the fatigue and nausea, I’d say the most prominent side effect is mouth sores. Technically, they’re just on the tongue right now. I’ve always had a geographic tongue, but this is a bit more than that. All around the edges of my tongue are white patches that are sore. Thankfully they’re not too tender to make eating impossible. I’ve been diligent with my mouth rinse, so I’m hoping that it curbs the progression of any sores. In my orientation about chemotherapy, the nurse explained that chemo targets quickly dividing cells. Cancer is quickly dividing, but so are a few other systems of healthy cells, and that’s why the side effects happen. I didn’t realize how quickly cells in the mouth divide, because truly within 24hrs I started having a sore mouth. I guess I’ll know more about anatomy and biology after all of this.

As you can tell from my rather matter-of-fact tone, I’m still just pushing through today. I’m resting, but I’m also trying to exercise my brain a bit. My mood is very neutral, neither down nor up. It’s just a day to be. I’m hopeful that tomorrow I might feel a bit less foggy. I’ll let you know.