Insomnia again, but with the safety of Jonathan sleeping nearby, and my amazing in-laws for support in the morning, I allowed myself to feel tonight. For about a week I’ve felt the grief, had moments of tears, but the depth of the pain scared me, so I pushed it away. I’m feeling safe enough to touch it and explore it a little bit. I’m not a poet, but writing helps me heal. I’ve been turning over ideas in my head for children’s books featuring my beloved Winston, but for now bits and pieces of the process.