I don't want to be big

After VERY slowly weaning Colette off of the pacifier or “boppy,” the bandaid will be ripped this Saturday night. We have been limiting boppy to the car and bed for several months now. After a visit to the dentist this week with Mommy that resulted in a peak at Colette’s teeth, we’ve received official word that it’s time. I have wavered on this for a while, because I don’t want her to associate bye bye boppy to other transitions she’s made or is making…we’ve just about got potty-training nailed and we’ve been out of town or Daddy has been traveling all summer. So now we reach this short window before William arrives.

Saturday night she will go to sleep with her Snoopy and another stuffed animal who will both have boppies stuffed in them. Sunday morning she will wake up a Big Girl. I have gifts and activities planned all day to celebrate her new status in life. I have been preparing her all week with bye bye boppy books and videos and lots of talk about being a big girl.

She’s excited in that uncomfortable, nervous kind of way, alternating between sincere excitement and that awkward smile hiding her true feelings. But she has shared those feelings with her Mimi and her Anna: “I don’t want to be big.”

Break my heart! I don’t want you to be big either my baby girl! You are growing way too fast, and in 10 short weeks you’ll seem even bigger as you take on the role of big sister!

Mommy understands all too well. I don’t want you to get “bigger,” nor do I love the fact of, let’s say, maturing, myself. Life is full of nostalgia, we just have to figure out how to have peace with the past, present, and future. I’m still learning how to do that, and Baby Girl, I’ll let you know when I figure it out!

But for now, let’s enjoy the ride and make the transitions as fun as possible and as anxiety-free as possible.

Lord, hold us as we follow you through his thing called life. Amen.